I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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