There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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