Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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