My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize