You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
