I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
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His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
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She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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