So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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