I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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