Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
