There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
