haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
