Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
