he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
