there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
