if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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