I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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