Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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