the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
