Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We have started to decorate penises.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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