I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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