help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
