Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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