Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
