I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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