Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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