I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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