It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
