That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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