Sry I called you an 8
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
