we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
