i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
