I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
