I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
time to smoke my breakfast
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
