Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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