How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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