He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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