We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize