wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
