That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
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Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
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