Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
