I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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