She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
