sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
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I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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