i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
