Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
