please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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