I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
