Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
