i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
