Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
