I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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