Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
you made out with another girl for some wings
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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