Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
