I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
