So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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